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F-Cubed

Seeds of Change…

10/31/2017

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The link is 1min 34 secs - please watch to see the seed grow as the blog makes more sense!!

GARDENING AT 58N
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Hey hey hey !!  Welcome to my next blog….!!

When you read the title or see the image I post, do you wonder what I am going to talk about?  Just curious.

Today is about my seedlings and their journey - keep reading though as it turns into a deeper meaning (of course!!).

At my friend’s wedding - the one where I want “I want that..  that thing called love…” we were all given seed bombs.  Two little lime green hearts to take home and plant.  I took 3 packs :-) - gimme the love!

Anyway, I got them home and lovingly crumbled them into the selected growing pot, gave them some water every morning and then one day - OMG there was a few little green tips pushing themselves out the soil.  I felt like a proud new mum, probably on a lesser scale, but I was totally excited.  

I talked to them, gave them water each morning and placed them on my windowsill when I was home so they got some sunlight. (Was told that seedlings don’t want direct sun at first…).

Last night I looked at my babies and they didn’t seem to be growing much, a sadness came over me and then I thought well maybe it is time they now need sunlight - the little heads popping up now need to seek the warmth and nutrients of the sun.  

This morning is their first day in the big wide world of my balcony, let’s see how this new environment encourages them to grow….

Now the deeper part.  This made me think about life and how we as human beings grow over time - the journey we go on and the time it takes and the environment that encourages us.

Regular readers know I have been on a path of self discovery the last 2 years (well my whole life but more so the last few years) and at times I feel like I am close to the start all over - but I’m not at all.  I know in myself how I’ve changed and I love it - this sometimes smooth, often pebbly and occasionally rocky and always interesting path.  It has twists and turns and is never ever dull.

I was stopped in my tracks a couple of times the last few weeks by some comments made during conversations - the first about my intensity, that not everyone wants a deep conversation.  In the past this would have thrown me into the quick sand, I would have taken it totally to heart and questioned myself for days on end and thought I was a bad person.  Well this time - it took me till the end of the chat when I said goodbye to get over it.  To stop and go “yes I am intense and I LOVE that side of me”  am I always - no not at all.  I realised this was more about the commentor than me and I was proud of myself for avoiding that sand.  The weird thing was I had more conversations over the next few days when people said they loved the fact we talk deep….  The moral - be yourself - be myself and that is a learning I’ve had over the last 2 years.

Then another chat, being what I felt pushed to do something when I’d said no the time wasn’t right for me a few times. I’m not one to be pushed - I am a ram after all (Aries) - don’t butt heads with me!!  Anyways, the comment was that this person wished they had someone pushing them to get to where they are now quicker. Thing is I don’t want to rush, I’m in a place where I am assimilating the new information I have already and working on a few projects, I don’t need or desire to add more to my load.

How does this equate to the seed??

Well when you watch the time lapse - the first thing it does it grow its roots.  To me this is me knowing who I am and being ‘firm’ in that.  Not fixed or solid but knowing myself well enough I don’t get pulled into the quicksand.

Once those roots are in place, the seed starts to go upwards, it works its way through the soil, has to push through some dirt before it finds the sun.  It doesn’t know the sun is definitely there, but it goes upwards anyway.  

I liken that to me growing into me, having to face some adversity along the way - stay rooted to keep going upwards and even when it’s tough - not stop going on.

Then the shoot breaks the soil and there’s the sun, the warmth, the nutrients it now needs to keep growing, It needs the sun and water, and the soil and a kind loving voice to feed it energy along its way to reach it’s full potential.

Now what if the sun wasn’t there, like my seed in my room?  Would it grow and reach its greatest heights?…  I doubt it.

How is this like me? You?  Once we’ve grounded ourselves and broken through the soil, we have different requirements, different nutrients, new words said to us maybe.  If our environment isn’t optimal we don’t achieve all we can and only we know what that environment is.  The city, partner, job, friends, home, food, self talk, rituals, affirmations, hobbies etc - these are all our environment plus many more things.  We need them all to grow. 

The last thing that came to my mind was the speed at which the seed grew.  2 seeds in a pot might take different times to reach the surface then shoot up.  Maybe the slower one shooted up quicker?  The thing is nature took the time it needed.   

I feel that with myself - I could be impatient and annoyed that I didn’t learn some of the things I know now quicker, but would that help me?  I learnt them and they sunk into my being when I was rooted.  As long as I never stop learning and ‘pushing’ through the soil, and feeding myself with all the goodness I can and need to keep going - my journey will take the right time.

Now that is not to say I don’t have deadlines or goals for projects!!  But for my own growth, I honestly wonder if that can be rushed, like an injury or the plant - some things will take the time they take….  

It is at the end of the day about the journey not the destination…  If I speed up maybe I won’t help as many people along the way as my sharing will be different - maybe it would be more - does it even matter. 

I don’t have an absolute answer other than I am enjoying my growth, I have broken the soil, I feel the warmth of the sun and I’m heading that way….

I do hope the seed bombs from the wedding are legal plants for Singapore though  ;-)

Love to all my readers - remember to comment, that helps my environment...
​
Please feel free to be in touch for coaching, movement training, greeting cards!!

Enjoy the journey you are on…


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HANDSTANDS....

10/25/2017

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It's not about the handstand...




CHECK OUT THE VIDEO....



THANKS!!
X

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an Ode to.....

10/24/2017

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I feel you 
I may not remember all we talk about
But I always remember who you are.


I remember you for your joys in life
and for the sad times

For the moments of frustration with what I was asking of you
And the proudness when you got it.


When you realised it was about you
What you did in the day
Became that bit more aware
And determined to change


When you stopped hurting
The pain gone
When your baby was born
The bump gone


When you cried
When we laughed so much you got a core workout
When we shared stories
Learnt about each other.


When a movement you were once scared of
Presented no fear 
When you overcame more 
Than you thought you could


They are my memories
Of clients, friends, people
past and present



Even when I don’t train you anymore
When you are no longer in my life

You’re still in my heart


Grateful for the people who have come and gone
Influenced me
Allowed me to know them
And trusted me


May you live a life of freedom of movement
Feel joy in your body
Love your body for all it is
Listen to it when it speaks
And take of yourself
And each other


With love…
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Enough - Yes I Am

10/18/2017

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Over the years of coaching - being and receiving, one of the things that crops up a lot is not being enough. It seems to be a belief many hold and allow to stop us in our tracks.

I know it does me.  My immediate fears, concerns, anxiety all tend to come from this deeply planted belief. 



I'm not good enough to....
Not clever enough to / for...
Not pretty - handsome - slim - muscly enough to
Don't earn enough
Don't own enough
Don't have the right clothes


Any of these ring true?


Then there's "I don't deserve ...." which comes from pretty much the same place as "I'm not good enough"

Obviously I'm not smart enough to have got rid of this belief yet!!!

When I get nervous or feel overwhelmed, when my confidence starts to ebb away - it generally is that little 'not good enough' voice.  

How do we turn it off?

To start try this and see how it goes:-

Consider what your life would be like with that voice continuing to talk to you 

Then what might life be like without it........


Which would you rather? 


Face the voice, do those things, go head first into the fear. The voice fades away. ​

We are all enough. 
X

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Ding Dong the Bells are going to chime

10/16/2017

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There’s nothing like a good wedding….


Well maybe there is,I think the  funerals can be great days too - a huge celebration of a life lead - but let's be honest weddings are a tad happier!!

This weekend just gone, I went to a wedding. The wedding of a wonderful friend I met in Glasgow when I was teaching there and who I've stayed in touch with over the following years...

I want to start by sharing how I met Lisa - I moved to Glasgow, the studio opened, at the end of a class up came this rather loud Aussie chick and goes “Hi I’m Lisa too, we should go for wine” - or something like that anyway.  Being the semi shy person I am, please don’t laugh at that as I can be a tad shy meeting new people….- her boldness was out there, and I loved it!.

We did indeed have that wine and many many more.  We went on to me being her Pilates trainer and mentor, watching her grow into a great pilates teacher and pass her exam (wooohoooo) - to living with her and her now husband for my last few months in Glasgow, to moving away and living on 2 different continents (me Asia, her back in Australia) - spending Christmas 2015 with her in Port Macquarie and having the pleasure of meeting her father, now passed - the most beautiful soul, to sharing spiritual journeys and learnings and tears and openness when we’ve both had our darker moments and being part of the process of seeing each other blossom into who we can be.

And I had the pleasure and honour of seeing her walk into Springbrook Community Hall on Saturday October 14th 2017, a beaming bride with her son by her side. A woman so full of love for life and people and surrounded by so many people who love her totally and unconditionally.  Her soon to be husband, with his huge family surrounding him (there’s 11 kids - wtf) - standing under the “arch”, watching her walk towards him, totally focussed on her - nothing else mattered.  

What to say, to have been a part of their lives for the last 4 years, to be there on this big day and be part of this amazing family brings a huge smile to my face as I type and I am so grateful to know such a wonderful person and through her met so many others.

The day made me reflect on all those I know, other weddings I've been to, children I’ve seen in bellies and then grow, losses suffered, and friendships strengthened by sharing and being open.  I am truly blessed, I know phenomenal people, have an extended family and am loved so much for the woman I am - damn fucking lucky!! 

I take the opportunity with this blog to say thanks to all those in my life, for being there; for simply being there. If it wasn’t for you - I would not be who I am, not grown into the Lisa I am today, and not shared your journey with you as you have mine.


I also wish Lisa and Rob Hunt so much love love love for the rest of their lives together.  As I watched them be with each other, having been together for some 13 years I believe, this rumbling stirred in me - and when I had a moment with Lisa, I whispered, "I want that - what you guys have" - I think it surprised her as much as it did me...  It was one of the few times in my recent life I can truly say I do want to share my future with someone and that's a big thing for me to "admit".

Seeing them though and many of the other couples I know - including the Dunkleys, the Garrats, Pagdet/Rutland, and the Joneses - my parents, I get it.  How it is possible to still be true to you and be part of something bigger than you...  Inspirational couples....

Written with gratitude and a desire for all to give and receive love, we all deserve it.
x

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WHICH cartoon character TO BE?

10/3/2017

1 Comment

 
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Life - the ups and downs of life in general….

Do you know that feeling, when things are all "good" - life seems to be going well, you’re feeling "good" and then one day you simply feel....... grumpy..

Or is that just me!?..

That was me the other day, and I can’t explain why. I’ve wracked my brain about what I did, who I was with, if I slept enough, all the inputs that might make my output grumpy.

I came up with a few possible reasons but they’d be more excuses than anything concrete - those little things that normally would be water off a duck’s back but now were like shit on rabbit fur… (love my dad's expressions).

What to do?

When I woke up, the only thoughts going on in my mind were how much I had to do, to organise, to sort out, tidy, research, draw, work, cook and do my clothes washing - oh plus some admin (not my bliss) and I'm sure there was way more in my mind than there was really. I was a tad overwhelmed and wanted to hide under my yummy comfy yellow duvet.!!  Instead I got up -got going, started to tick things of the virtual list and my “white rabbit” calmed a bit. 

But underneath was still a murmuring of discontent, a flustered feeling.

Off to work...


The beauty of my job is that I have to get out of that mood (to a degree) - who wants a stroppy trainer!  And sessions can be as therapeutic for me as they are for clients (thanks guys) - focussing and listening to others takes me out of my head and out of my 'bad' mood.

It helped but there was still something niggling, I sent a few messages to close friends saying I was having a grump on, reached out, babbled a while, set up a time to chat and I already started to feel better.

And here’s the thing - we are all so great at the “Yes everything is fine - all good” and I was close to saying that. But it wasn't the truth and it definitely wasn't mine on this day in particualr    I needed to speak to friends, and have a wee rant, get it out and then shake it off and be bouncy and full of beans again, transforming into Tigger.

And here’s another thing - it’s ok to be like that too.  Who doesn’t have off days? Where their patience is tested, motivation dwindles, doubts talk louder and belief in self is well, low.

I gave myself permission to go “aaarrgghhhhh what the f*** am I doing “ - have my momentary panic, reach out (wooohoooo), say my piece, notice I was a grump and grumble it out to safe ears.  I  did some questioning about what I made some things mean - mean about me vs what the facts were.  Doh - that woke me up!!!. 

It’s not always easy to say we’re pissed off, fed up, uncertain, scared or to take the time to reflect on the why - but doing so lead me to getting out of the grump quicker than if I hadn't.  Can I not get into the grump in future?- interesting question!!!

Whatever it might be we are feeling , when we step up to those feelings, name it : Percy pissed off, Samantha scared, Fred fed up, Urma uncertain, Georgie grump  - then how bizarre, the feeling reduces.

The more we talk about it, the less hold that feeling has - the more I type this; a means of reflection, the more I appreciate how powerful connection is and how important it is for my emotional well-being - thanks to my friends....

As for today as I finish this blog ready to hit "post" - there's a very little of Grumpy left, way more of Tigger, and I love this Eeyore quote....  

​Posting these blogs with the intention they make a different to others.

x




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    lisa....

    I have opinions on most things - and I am happy to listen with an open mind, seeing a different view. Please feel free to comment and tell me how it occurs for you..

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