GARDENING AT 58N
When you read the title or see the image I post, do you wonder what I am going to talk about? Just curious.
Today is about my seedlings and their journey - keep reading though as it turns into a deeper meaning (of course!!).
At my friend’s wedding - the one where I want “I want that.. that thing called love…” we were all given seed bombs. Two little lime green hearts to take home and plant. I took 3 packs :-) - gimme the love!
Anyway, I got them home and lovingly crumbled them into the selected growing pot, gave them some water every morning and then one day - OMG there was a few little green tips pushing themselves out the soil. I felt like a proud new mum, probably on a lesser scale, but I was totally excited.
I talked to them, gave them water each morning and placed them on my windowsill when I was home so they got some sunlight. (Was told that seedlings don’t want direct sun at first…).
Last night I looked at my babies and they didn’t seem to be growing much, a sadness came over me and then I thought well maybe it is time they now need sunlight - the little heads popping up now need to seek the warmth and nutrients of the sun.
This morning is their first day in the big wide world of my balcony, let’s see how this new environment encourages them to grow….
Now the deeper part. This made me think about life and how we as human beings grow over time - the journey we go on and the time it takes and the environment that encourages us.
Regular readers know I have been on a path of self discovery the last 2 years (well my whole life but more so the last few years) and at times I feel like I am close to the start all over - but I’m not at all. I know in myself how I’ve changed and I love it - this sometimes smooth, often pebbly and occasionally rocky and always interesting path. It has twists and turns and is never ever dull.
I was stopped in my tracks a couple of times the last few weeks by some comments made during conversations - the first about my intensity, that not everyone wants a deep conversation. In the past this would have thrown me into the quick sand, I would have taken it totally to heart and questioned myself for days on end and thought I was a bad person. Well this time - it took me till the end of the chat when I said goodbye to get over it. To stop and go “yes I am intense and I LOVE that side of me” am I always - no not at all. I realised this was more about the commentor than me and I was proud of myself for avoiding that sand. The weird thing was I had more conversations over the next few days when people said they loved the fact we talk deep…. The moral - be yourself - be myself and that is a learning I’ve had over the last 2 years.
Then another chat, being what I felt pushed to do something when I’d said no the time wasn’t right for me a few times. I’m not one to be pushed - I am a ram after all (Aries) - don’t butt heads with me!! Anyways, the comment was that this person wished they had someone pushing them to get to where they are now quicker. Thing is I don’t want to rush, I’m in a place where I am assimilating the new information I have already and working on a few projects, I don’t need or desire to add more to my load.
How does this equate to the seed??
Well when you watch the time lapse - the first thing it does it grow its roots. To me this is me knowing who I am and being ‘firm’ in that. Not fixed or solid but knowing myself well enough I don’t get pulled into the quicksand.
Once those roots are in place, the seed starts to go upwards, it works its way through the soil, has to push through some dirt before it finds the sun. It doesn’t know the sun is definitely there, but it goes upwards anyway.
I liken that to me growing into me, having to face some adversity along the way - stay rooted to keep going upwards and even when it’s tough - not stop going on.
Then the shoot breaks the soil and there’s the sun, the warmth, the nutrients it now needs to keep growing, It needs the sun and water, and the soil and a kind loving voice to feed it energy along its way to reach it’s full potential.
Now what if the sun wasn’t there, like my seed in my room? Would it grow and reach its greatest heights?… I doubt it.
How is this like me? You? Once we’ve grounded ourselves and broken through the soil, we have different requirements, different nutrients, new words said to us maybe. If our environment isn’t optimal we don’t achieve all we can and only we know what that environment is. The city, partner, job, friends, home, food, self talk, rituals, affirmations, hobbies etc - these are all our environment plus many more things. We need them all to grow.
The last thing that came to my mind was the speed at which the seed grew. 2 seeds in a pot might take different times to reach the surface then shoot up. Maybe the slower one shooted up quicker? The thing is nature took the time it needed.
I feel that with myself - I could be impatient and annoyed that I didn’t learn some of the things I know now quicker, but would that help me? I learnt them and they sunk into my being when I was rooted. As long as I never stop learning and ‘pushing’ through the soil, and feeding myself with all the goodness I can and need to keep going - my journey will take the right time.
Now that is not to say I don’t have deadlines or goals for projects!! But for my own growth, I honestly wonder if that can be rushed, like an injury or the plant - some things will take the time they take….
It is at the end of the day about the journey not the destination… If I speed up maybe I won’t help as many people along the way as my sharing will be different - maybe it would be more - does it even matter.
I don’t have an absolute answer other than I am enjoying my growth, I have broken the soil, I feel the warmth of the sun and I’m heading that way….
I do hope the seed bombs from the wedding are legal plants for Singapore though ;-)
Love to all my readers - remember to comment, that helps my environment...
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Enjoy the journey you are on…