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Redefining definitions

11/7/2016

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It’s been an interesting last month of life…  Then life is indeed interesting!

Over the last few weeks I’ve been a little out of sync with myself, neglected sleep (which is not a good idea…) and not looked after myself as well as I usually do.  Nothing wrong with it for a while, but well enough is enough!  I have continued to have realisations about myself, who I am, what I place importance on and how distracted I am at times as well as focussed when I set my mind to it!  On-going coaching has certainly helped me see some things as has my ability to stop and question my own actions, something I never could really do before.  Hence why this morning was blog time!!

Every weekend there has been the thought in my mind to blog - but what about, what is it I’ve wanted to share from my realisations and experiences - what to share that is ‘useful’...

One of my main learnings during the last weeks has been about myself being a feminine woman.  For whatever reasons,  I semi turned my back on her for a while - didn’t want to acknowledge her as part of me, it’s quite hard to explain in some ways.  From a previous post I wrote about tinder and going on dates at the end of last year - which I have continued to do the last months as well and enjoying it way more than before!.  Looking back now, I can see the woman who went on those - a woman who didn’t put her "best" side forward, show herself off or let her inner beauty shine out and was in a place of looking for the “right one”.  Putting my best side forward doesn’t have to be through clothes and make up etc - it’s a way of being, and I wasn't being me, allowing the feminine me to play.  What is  femininity though?  My old definition was frills and pinks and ‘girlie’ dresses - not speaking out or being assertive. 

The last 2 months, I watched other women and how they behave and dress, taken advise from male and female friends, revisited my own wardrobe, added a touch more make up, got some heels on my feet and totally loving it.  And that’s not to say that being a feminine woman has to include those things - not at all.  For me putting them on, doing my face up a bit, and letting my hair be its mess of curls has been liberating; being softer at times, allowing someone else to take the ‘lead’, not be angry when the door is held open for me!!! (yes I used to be - but then I was angry at alot of things!!!).  

I have redefined what feminine meant to me - confident, sexy, at ease with myself regardless of external appearance.


And this doesn’t mean that my masculine side is gone, that's pear of me too -  it’s how I chose to be and when and with whom, and it is a choice.  A choice not only regarding being feminine - but every moment with others we all get to chose how we want to be. 

I’m still messing it up at times and I don’t curb or catch the rebel in me until it's a bit late...   As ever though, it is a journey full of surprises, emotions, apologies, and love.
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    lisa....

    I have opinions on most things - and I am happy to listen with an open mind, seeing a different view. Please feel free to comment and tell me how it occurs for you..

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