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The Balance between the Journey and Urgency....

5/23/2016

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Why are you in such a rush?  What’s your goals, and by when?.

2 questions that I have been asked in the past and seem to contradict each other…. I will admit to working at a speed that is  a tad quicker than most - and I’ve explored this.  Is it a fear of missing out? Making up for Kim’s death by doing enough for the 2 of us?  A need to prove myself?  Because I don’t like sitting and staring into space and doing nothing?

Probably an element of all of the above and none of the above at different times in my life - jeez in my day!!!…

There was a great article posted about striving - it was a different way to view it, and it resonated with me;  striving is good - as long as you celebrate and accept where you are.  The latter is not my norm, still is a bit off and what I am working on - acceptance.

I was asked by a coach  “What if where you are is it?”  humph.

What if it is?… 

If I say I want “more” - then does it mean that I am not content where I am?  If I say I accept where I am does that mean I won’t strive to achieve more?

Damn question…..


What is the balance between the two - is there one?  And if I do want more - when do I want it by?  Is it the goal or the journey that matters to me?   aaaarrggghhh brain ache.

Where I am in my life - career wise,  putting myself out there as a coach, movement educator and trainer - there is a sense of urgency now.  I’ve held back, held myself back (for various reasons) and am now willing and wanting to move forward.  Along the way I have enjoyed and continue to enjoy the journey of training and now coaching people, as well as learning so much for myself that translates across to others.

What I’ve realised is that this urgency has seeped into the rest of my life - relationships, friendships, training, and other hobbies.  A place where for me; it has no place and serves no purpose.  That rush has at times caused me to stress myself and stress others.  

At the end of the day I love being able to work at a million miles an hour, in the same way that I loved to ride my bike fast rather than slow; where interestingly riding my fixed wheel slow leaves me feeling more unstable  - a crossover into life?…..  

I practise my bike control skills at times - and my ability to go slower and balance and still be in ‘control’ (ie not fall off)  is improving. Will this skill translate into life - yes - if I PRACTISE it…..!

Herein lies the bottom line - yes there is a place for both urgency and enjoying the journey - and I believe I can enjoy an urgent journey as well as a meandering one!  

The skill is to recognise which one serves me and when….


You gotta love this shit!!!  I hope these questions and thoughts prompted some of your own and how this might show up in your lives...
thanks
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free will...

5/9/2016

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Bear with me on this blog, it might be a bit rambly....

Recently I’ve been using a deck of cards to help me with stuff that has been playing on my mind - they’re not tarot cards but a deck called “The Nature of Infinite Love and Gratitude”. I did the ILG (Infinite Love and Gratitude) Lifeline Ignite workshop a while ago and bought them then - and totally forgot I had!  I followed the ILG 28 day practise, then fell out of it practise - I admit I did get a tad bogged down with thinking and then found the cards…….

What are they?

Well on one side is a picture of nature and on the other a quote.  You state what you are feeling anxious - annoyed - whatever about and then focus on how you want to feel instead - shuffle the deck 5 times and pull out the card.  

It’s been spooky.

Every time the card has been so accurate to what I feel.
I said once “I am acceptance” and yup I pulled out the acceptance card.


Yesterday I picked “Free Will” - the quote saying - “ I have free will, a choice with every experience.  Today I chose to own my power”.  

If you follow me on Facebook you’ll see I posted on May 5th that I was reclaiming my power; I felt like I almost lost it a bit today (May 7th) - giving my emotional well being away to a situation and person that I couldn’t change but I started to let it upset me - I had the choice to change the way I reacted to the situation and it’s a reason why I used the cards.

It is very easy for me to lose my power at the moment, to stop and allow others to influence my ‘being”, what I want to do with my time and doubting my belief in myself; losing my confidence, passion and drive for what I aim to achieve in this world (and yes I do want to achieve).  Why?  Not sure what the why is behind this right now.  There’s something underlying me giving away ‘me and my time’ so readily; I have a few ideas and I am allowing myself to notice it, be curious about it and see what comes up - at least now I have realised what I am doing!!

Anyway- the card - free will.

What is free will - I just googled it and there is a whole philosophical explanation about it regarding moral responsibility, choice and do we really have it. I was not expecting that!  The more I looked, the deeper it gets - and the more confused I get and well, I don’t want to be confused.

The simpler definition is: the power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one's own discretion.

Power again - the power of acting in the way I chose to.  I can see based on this how there is a moral responsibility around how we act.   For me free will means acting in a way that is free of worry and concern about what others think of me, my choices and how I life my life -  free of the feeling of being judged including by myself - and I am probably the main person doing the judging of me.  In these blogs I don’t worry about it so much, I am happy to put my thoughts out there which is one of the reasons I love to write, but in reality I am not speaking up, saying what I want and doing what I want.  It’s almost as if I don’t know what I want.  It’s been a bit weird the last few weeks in my head!

Where am I going with this?  

As I write it clears my thought process and I become clearer on what I do want, how I want to live out my days, what I like to do and how I feel at my best in this world. There’s some changes I need to make and I’m working on them.   I had a chat with a friend (and awesome coach) who asked if I was worried about missing out - do I do what others suggest so much because I want to experience everything?  And there is an element of that - rushing through experiences to get to the next one so I can do them all?  As opposed to enjoying the process of whatever I am doing - linking back to being present and mindful with wherever I am - note to self read my own blogs……  I look at other people’s lives, relationships, jobs, hobbies, how they fill their time and I cannot deny I do at times “compare” to my own and question why I don’t do what they do - erm because I don’t want to (I must remember that) and if I’m not careful I can become discontent with my life! 

Yet my life is amazing - where I live, what I do, the people in it and who I am!      DOH.


Am I the only person that goes through this mental madness?  I don’t believe so, but I do think many of us are fearful of voicing out that we often feel this way - hence these blogs and becoming more honest to myself and sharing what goes on in me  - the more honest I am the easier it is to let go.

To help me continue to move forward I intend to continue to work with the cards as they have helped me the last week.   

​My other practise will be that when I feel myself spin out - to stop - breathe fully - centre - accept where I am - remind myself of my greatness - be grateful for the life I lead - who I am and chose with free will.


If you’re wondering what cards I’ve drawn since I started:

Monday 25th April - Fear - (and I was in a bad head space that day).
Wednesday 27th - Peace (this was drawn after a coaching conversation on tuesday 26th….)
Thursday 28th - Acceptance
Friday 29th- Acceptance again to which I humphed and redrew for Journey (fears associated with change said the quote, embrace change.)
Saturday 30th - Appreciation - the value of the road
Monday 2nd - Faith
Wednesday 3rd - Reflection 
Thursday 4th - Centered
Friday 5th - Optimism - however long the journey takes….
Saturday 6th - Free Will.

It’s actually very interesting to go back and read them in order - life is indeed an amazing journey.


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HUman-ness of coaching

5/8/2016

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Through my life’s journey, I’ve had some shit stuff happen, who hasn’t -
and shit is relative to each of us.


As I go through my journey of being/becoming a coach,
I’m starting to see how so many of us hold on to that shit and have pain deep inside. 


We may or may not know it’s there - we know something isn’t “right" in our life -
or we believe something isn’t “right” with us.
We repeat the same pattern and can’t see a way to break free.
We sabotage ourselves in various ways, damage our relationships
and take it out on those who love us the most.
Blind to the beauty of who we are.


As I experience more people’s life stories, I realise how we as human beings are all so alike. 
We have all been dealt different hands,
and life is what we do with the cards we got to play with.


Seeing someone’s “pain”, and at times knowing what that pain feels like to have myself
can be difficult as a trainee coach
and in the future, even after years of coaching
I believe it still will. And I hope it will,
because when it doesn’t,
for me means I am no longer human. 

​The aim is to not let it affect me so that it affects me and my life.  


It does affect me though, it affects me in a positive way.  

A way that inspires me to continue on this path, to share my story and human-ness with others - including coachees, so that we all heal and become who we were born to be.

In gratitude to those I coach.​

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Old posts please go to.....

5/5/2016

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I have been blogging for a while but under execcentric - so please pop on over there to check it out...



execcentric


All future blogs will go here for personal thoughts as execcentric becomes my movement blog....

thanks!!!
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    lisa....

    I have opinions on most things - and I am happy to listen with an open mind, seeing a different view. Please feel free to comment and tell me how it occurs for you..

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