Do you know that feeling, when things are all "good" - life seems to be going well, you’re feeling "good" and then one day you simply feel....... grumpy..
Or is that just me!?..
That was me the other day, and I can’t explain why. I’ve wracked my brain about what I did, who I was with, if I slept enough, all the inputs that might make my output grumpy.
I came up with a few possible reasons but they’d be more excuses than anything concrete - those little things that normally would be water off a duck’s back but now were like shit on rabbit fur… (love my dad's expressions).
What to do?
When I woke up, the only thoughts going on in my mind were how much I had to do, to organise, to sort out, tidy, research, draw, work, cook and do my clothes washing - oh plus some admin (not my bliss) and I'm sure there was way more in my mind than there was really. I was a tad overwhelmed and wanted to hide under my yummy comfy yellow duvet.!! Instead I got up -got going, started to tick things of the virtual list and my “white rabbit” calmed a bit.
But underneath was still a murmuring of discontent, a flustered feeling.
Off to work...
The beauty of my job is that I have to get out of that mood (to a degree) - who wants a stroppy trainer! And sessions can be as therapeutic for me as they are for clients (thanks guys) - focussing and listening to others takes me out of my head and out of my 'bad' mood.
It helped but there was still something niggling, I sent a few messages to close friends saying I was having a grump on, reached out, babbled a while, set up a time to chat and I already started to feel better.
And here’s the thing - we are all so great at the “Yes everything is fine - all good” and I was close to saying that. But it wasn't the truth and it definitely wasn't mine on this day in particualr I needed to speak to friends, and have a wee rant, get it out and then shake it off and be bouncy and full of beans again, transforming into Tigger.
And here’s another thing - it’s ok to be like that too. Who doesn’t have off days? Where their patience is tested, motivation dwindles, doubts talk louder and belief in self is well, low.
I gave myself permission to go “aaarrgghhhhh what the f*** am I doing “ - have my momentary panic, reach out (wooohoooo), say my piece, notice I was a grump and grumble it out to safe ears. I did some questioning about what I made some things mean - mean about me vs what the facts were. Doh - that woke me up!!!.
It’s not always easy to say we’re pissed off, fed up, uncertain, scared or to take the time to reflect on the why - but doing so lead me to getting out of the grump quicker than if I hadn't. Can I not get into the grump in future?- interesting question!!!
Whatever it might be we are feeling , when we step up to those feelings, name it : Percy pissed off, Samantha scared, Fred fed up, Urma uncertain, Georgie grump - then how bizarre, the feeling reduces.
The more we talk about it, the less hold that feeling has - the more I type this; a means of reflection, the more I appreciate how powerful connection is and how important it is for my emotional well-being - thanks to my friends....
As for today as I finish this blog ready to hit "post" - there's a very little of Grumpy left, way more of Tigger, and I love this Eeyore quote....
Posting these blogs with the intention they make a different to others.