I get those days, not as often as I have in the past, but I still get them and I’ve learnt to ride in a wonky line for a while! Along the way I think I often say the wrong thing, ring my bell at the wrong person, take a few wrong turns but I don’t think I’ve knocked anyone over…. and I’m not planning to.
So what happens - why does my wheel go off whack? Why does the gremlin voice I can keep at bay sometimes seem to be able to infiltrate my mind and speak in volumes way louder than normal!!
What’s that all about!!….
The biggest thing that happens to me when I’m all wonky is the way I judge others and have way high expectations - which really is a reflection of what I am doing to myself… Judging myself and often quite harshly! As a wellbeing coach and pilates trainer, I often feel that I am expected to be holier than thou, which let’s face it is not realistic and to my thinking, living that way leads to a slightly dull life - but that is me.
My definition of a balanced life is possibly not the same as yours and hey that’s FAB!! We can all have our own definition of what being well means to us and for me it’s going off centre, being wobbly, going to the extreme, knowing I’m there and then heading back on the straight and narrow.
Often the last few years, I’ve realised I like being off centre - not so much I go to the “judgey place” I don’t like it there, but skewing my see saw to one end sometimes - it can be devilishly fun!!
For work I've looked into “wellbeing’ - rather than wellness : quote - “Wellbeing embraces more than just physical health. It takes into account the entire person, both body and mind, and not merely by the “absence of illness.” Its approach to “health” includes the presence of positive mental states, emotions, and moods. The absence of illness/disease is not wellbeing, you may have good physical health but to be well we also need to consider other factors.
There’s differing definitions on the amount of other factors, some say 6, some 7, some 8 - I settled on 6 dimensions of well being: physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, environmental and social. Quote : These dimensions mean give us other others to consider in our lives and not just the physical aspect for example to be present in as many moments as possible, have close relationships and be in good overall health of body, mind and spirit. All these areas lead us to living our lives to the fullest.
I wish it was that easy, life has a habit of “throwing" so many things at us we can easily let one or two areas slide ….
I’ve kinda figured out when one or two (maybe 3) of my 6 spokes have gone a bit awry… What happens - well it’s not quite as obvious as the Hulk, I don’t turn green - but I do get short tempered, grumpy, judgemental and a little bit paranoid - the feelings of not being good enough creep up. You know that voice yeah?…
What do I do?
Have a glass of wine…. Yes I am serious, that is often what I do, sometimes even a sneaky cigarette .. When I want more cigarettes I know I am way off whack….
After I’ve chilled, I stop and consider what has been happening, what was I not paying attention to and hopefully I can rebalance myself. My wheel is wonky and I am weaving about - the more wonky the more weaving (and more wine…)
My remedy is usually to get a good nights sleep, if I lose too much sleep for a few nights in a row I’m not good! If I don't train in some way or other, eat too much (in particular high carb foods) - same…. If I don’t take time for myself, go into nature and be away from people or draw - I’m sooooooo not good! And if I do all these things at the same time - I’d recommend staying away from me - I might turn green!
Over time I’ve figured myself out more and more and whilst feeling when I am off balance is a big part of keeping my sanity the BIGGER part is in knowing it is okay to be off balance, notice it and go “oh I’m wonky”.….
We are so good at berating ourselves, thinking we must be perfect, posting all the good shit on Facebook when really inside we are feeling shit but don't feel we can say it out loud to anyone let alone to ourselves.
I think it takes balls to put our hands up and go “I’m having a hard time - I’m outta whack and I need some help, time, conversation, love and hugs so I can re-balance”…. I’ve learnt that calling / messaging a friend and just saying what is going on and how I’m feeling lightens my load and stops me hitting the curb….
Then I carry on a while in my now less wavy way and maybe I end up going straight for a wee while before the next time.
A life of being well and wellbeing doesn’t mean our wheel is always true, it means that we can notice when it’s not, have an occasional trip down the whacky path and enjoy the topsy turvy ride of life.!!…