I found myself feeling more negative the last month or so, i’ve been thinking of my future and stuff, but that wasn’t the cause. So what was..
Randomly - picking up trash has created feelings of sadness, anger and frustration and these have created a mood within me which has carried over into the rest of my life. Ooooops..
It came to light as I received some feedback, I took them to heart (must learn not to) and I went into my paranoid space and my “I’m not good enough”… Dammit..
I realised it though and didn’t indulge in that voice but did have to work to keep myself out of it!! Thanks to those who helped me along..
I’ve sat and reflected on it and how I can sometimes be - opinionated, harsh, sarcastic, abrasive - and this can be taken the wrong way and I upset people (not my goal) - I have positive things to say about myself too don’t worry!!. But I hadn’t been this way for a while - what happened?!?….
Light bulb - the more I’ve looked into the environment, what we are doing to the planet, the more I saw homelessness and poverty and that there is so much of it, as I watched documentaries on materialism and consumerism, on the political state of the world - the more my emotional state changed. Note to self, watch happy documentaries…
It’s one of the reasons I stopped reading the news years ago, because it affected me. How to not let it get me down? I now do read the news and I manage not to get mad/sad etc and find it quite laughable in some ways.
However the environment does affect me, the Earth is my home and when I see what we are doing to it - it hurts.
Another note - I am not perfect but I am doing what I can when I can. I have got on my high and mighty at times recently (mainly when I’ve had a few too much to drink) and got into deep debates, not listened and been very abrupt with my views. Whilst I love a good discussion, not everyone does and it doesn’t warm people to me! oops
Anyway - back to how to change to my mood….
I woke this morning, and went for my walk - and as I bent over to pick up some trash it dawned on me… LAUGH…
It was a revelation!!
I went along and picked up more and laughed again… IT WAS FAB.
A few times I forgot, lost in thought and as I walked away, I remembered and laughed.
It worked - it became a game with the rubbish and I said hi to the trees, and the birds and watched the squirrel scurry from tree to tree, the lizard siting in the grass just in view and looked at the wonderful Earth around me. Much better.
As I walked along the last path to home, I found 2 bottles, 1 can and 1 boxed drink (with a snail on it!!) - lots of laughter.
We can all only do so much, for me it’s how I do it and how it affects me and how to not let it affect my emotional well being and life in general and how I interact with others..